Get results by being clear about what you want.
By Apollonia Ponti
Last updated on Dec 25, 2023
Photo: Ave Calvar | Unsplash
Most people these days have heard or seen some form of dating advice about how to use the Law of Attraction to find your soulmate and fall in love, and yet, the specific details of how to manifest romantic relationships between kindred spirits remain, for many, a frustrating puzzle.
Manifestation is powerful. However, just because you deeply want something doesn’t mean you will automatically get it.
You have to work with the universe for the universe to show up for you.
Here’s how to use this simple law of attraction to find your soulmate.
1. Keep a journal of the things you love about yourself.
When you first wake up each morning, write out a list of things you love about yourself. This will help you own those feelings, and the positive energy that ignites will help you become more in tune with who you are and allow you to enjoy who you are in each moment.
Have an inner dialogue with yourself about the things you love about yourself. If you look at yourself in the mirror and say things like, “My thighs are too big”, pay attention to your words and switch them to a more loving aspect about yourself like, “My hair looks great today!”
This is the first step to awareness. Observe your thoughts. Challenge yourself to create new positive thoughts.
2. Create a written list of everything you want in a relationship.
Many people get this one wrong. You don’t want to attach yourself to the idea of one specific person you desire. You have to trust the universe will give you what you want.
So, even if you have a crush on or are in love, you cannot put their name on this list. Go with the feeling they inspire in you instead, and the specific feelings you want to experience within a relationship. For example, “I want to feel secure, trusted, and loved.”
Yes, you can include physical characteristics on your list but try to avoid superficial things and focus on trusting that everything will fall into place as it should.
3. Daydream or meditate about what you want until you can feel it.
You have to understand what you want and feel it around you.
One way to do this is by purposefully daydreaming about what you want, and what having it in front of you creates, then tell yourself that you feel coming to the point where happiness radiates within you.
When you were younger, do you remember having an imaginary friend? Well, it’s time to have another one again.
Let’s say you’re cooking dinner for yourself one night. Imagine your partner standing in the kitchen with you chatting and smiling. This is feeling it into existence.
4. Remain aware of your goal at all times.
The universe will throw obstacles, tests, and lessons at you, and the key to this process is remaining aware 100 percent of the time. Many people lose control of their thoughts and actions by giving someone else control or losing hope when challenges arise.
For example, many women who want to manifest love keep going back to a partner they know isn’t good for them. In doing so, they don’t allow the space for their manifestation to take over. In many such cases, physical attraction or habit seduces them to return. As a result, they feel a lack they cannot identify.
These women often think, “I don’t know if true love exists because I have never seen it.”
The key to moving past this blockage is becoming aware of why you are attracted to people or relationships that aren’t good for you. When you can do this, you will walk into awareness and never look back, even as the universe continues to throw you challenges.
5. Understand the universe is ruled by natural laws.
Humans invented airplanes based on a vision, an idea, and a belief. The laws of physics didn’t change to allow us to fly. Rather, we found a way to harness natural laws to achieve that vision.
Just as aviation follows the laws of physics, love, and change follow certain laws.
To harness the positive forces of love and change, you must first understand how it works naturally.
Every star in the universe and each of the planets that surround us, the cells within our bodies, the oceans that separate land and the thoughts that become our actions are part of the force that holds us together.
When someone says, “Like attracts like,” this means what you give out is what you will receive back.
This applies to your thoughts, emotions, feelings, actions, and beliefs, and the key to all of this is the awareness that you create your life with your thoughts and feelings. You are a magnet!
You must let go of the notion of timelines, such as, “I’m 40 years old, and I need to find someone fast if I want kids” or “I am a single mom with two kids, and no one is going to want me.”
The truth about manifestation is you have to be honest with yourself, be open to change, and remain open to seeing how you can heal any old wounds from your subconscious and conscious mind. You must be open to clearing old habits, beliefs, and patterns from past love experiences, childhood traumas, and memories. Once you do this, you can take the next step, which allows you to give up your need for control and start putting yourself first.
Be open to challenging yourself to try and experience new things. Now is the time to try it and stop trying to control the outcomes in your life.
This doesn’t mean giving up control of practices that keep you safe, but rather, giving up those that hold you back from new experiences.
Here’s why putting yourself first takes commitment.
1. Ask yourself these questions:
Are you giving your time to people who drain you?
Are you giving your time to men or women you’re dating while being dishonest with them by not stating upfront that you’re looking for a committed relationship?
Are you giving your time to men or women who are unavailable?
Are you giving your love to someone who doesn’t fulfill you simply because being with them makes you feel less vulnerable, knowing you’re the one “in control”?
These are all potential issues to identify and change so you can show up for the universe by growing into the best version of yourself possible.
2. Let go of fear and stop coming from a place of deficit.
When you say things to yourself like, “I’m getting older and will never have kids,” you may be expressing a valid concern and one that you shouldn’t dismiss, but you are also putting additional pressure on yourself. That pressure turns into fear, and that fear turns into a lack of something.
This has to stop, and you have to trust.
When you become clear about what you want and believe in this process, you will see results.
If you have doubts, the universe will show you it’s worth believing, but you have to give 100 percent to get what you want. You can have just about any relationship, but to have the right one, you must be able to identify yourself and put yourself first.
Never settle for anything less than what you deserve. Forgiving yourself for taking a step back during the process is OK. Everything works in divine timing. To manifest the right relationships, you have to make sure you cultivate the relationships around you.
You might not be able to tell the exact timeline for when you will fall in love, but know that it’s all up to you when it happens!
Apollonia Ponti is a dating and relationship expert and certified coach who works with men and women to get exactly what they want from their love life.
This article was originally published at Apollonia Ponti Website. Reprinted with permission from the author.